i_rabbit

Dear friends,

The time has come for me to move on. I have been busy constructing a new home (metaphorically and physically) and it is time to move in, settle, and breathe some life into the new digs. I will continue to track your lives from there as I have a link back to here, but I will no longer be updating these pages. You can continue to keep in touch with me via the new i_rabbit, powered by my new favorite open source project; WordPress.

Thanks and take care,

Michael

Your tears will turn into diamonds
from your eyes to the sheets, shining up at you
right here in my back pocket
All your fears will be scattered, as you take a step forward
to the door, swing it, open wide
crossing over the threshold, universe inside
Overcome by obstacles in faith
no person is safe
What lives in the stars and trees
is inside of you and me
Breathing in the love, pushing out the jive
converging evolution, together and alive

~ Maloney

ewwww...</i>

Malady's new house is perfect. We broke it in last night and christened the neighborhood the 'Love Zone' due to the red neon sign from the porn shop visible out the living room window. Classic. If I look south out her bedroom window I can see the hill that my house is on. Wonder if we can send morse code signals in the night? Well, actually the cell phone would probably be easier...got one of those (finally) past weekend after years of avoidance.

Now, as Nate says, he has three houses. Well, not quite. A LOT has to happen before the shop resembles anything like a home but a plan is forming. I spent a few hours constructing an archetectual model of the work I would like to do to make it reality (like a bathroom!) Now to come up with a budget. I have been sleeping out there quite comfortably for a couple of weeks now in a little sacred space that I created in the loft.

Audio Track: David Garza - Kinder
Mood-0-Meter: floating (sorely) on cloud nine ;)
Note to self: ALWAYS remember the 'courtesy call'...

SUPERUNKNOWN

If this isn't what you see
It doesn't make you blind
If this doesn't make you feel
It doesn't mean you've died
Where the river's high
Where the river's high

If you don't want to be seen
You don't have to hide
If you don't want to believe
You don't have to try
To feel alive

Alive in the superunknown
First it steals your mind
And then it steals your soul

If this doesn't make you free
It doesn't mean you're tied
If this doesn't take you down
It doesn't mean you're high
If this doesn't make you smile
You don't have to cry
If this isn't making sense
It doesn't make it lies

Alive in the superunknown
First it steals your mind
And then it steals your soul

Get yourself afraid
Get yourself alone
Get yourself contained
Get yourself control

Alive in the superunknown

First it steals your mind
And then it steals your... soul

~ Soundgarden

My life has taken some 'unexpectedly lovely turns' lately. I couldn't be happier. I feel healthy, I see in-focus, I think with clarity. Sure, my ToDo list is as long as ever, but I no longer feel immobilized by it and have been steadily checking things off, one-by-one, working my way back to ground-zero. Fears that once ruled my behavior or stifled growth are being conquered, and because of this, I can fully experience the miracle of life unfolding- I am alive in the Now. I could blame 'love' for this but I think the love is a reflection of something inside of me that is finally seeing the light of day after many months of incubation- my spirit is reawakening.

I have heard it said that when the student is ready - the master will appear...Ya, I like that one. I am ready to learn the next great lesson, to begin the next chapter, to grow beyond what I know myself to be, to spread this love to the farthest horizon, to grow a greater family.

To have such amazing, creative, insightful and loving people in my life to share in the growth is a blessing beyond compare- thank you.

For those who dare to dream with me.

I remember having flying dreams quite frequently as a child. They were some of the most natural and alive moments I have ever experienced. One involved crows and flying over vast fields of corn and grass. I was to rendezvous with a particularly majestic raven who would show me the way I was to follow. Flying in this dream was not so much a matter of flapping my arms as it was letting go and feeling the oneness with her presence. I believe in synchronicity. And I believe the crows may have a message for me once again.

A few of weeks back two crows built a nest in my cherry tree. For two weeks after that I could not even water my garden without being attacked by them. They would swoop and caw summoning every other crow in the neighborhood to their defense. They would follow me to the bus stop every morning and be waiting on the telephone pole out back when I returned. They reminded me how sacred home can be. I admired their persistence in defending what little they had. They were ever vigilant and conscious of my every coming and going. They were a metaphor for the state of the world I live in. A maternal call to order. To craft a nest with watchful care

I believe that if we all stem from the same eternal consciousness; then it follows that we share a collective subconscious as well. the ability to tap into that is available to all living beings. I have learned too that distance is irrelevant to the ability of consciousness to perceive. The difficult part is in clearing the mind to cut through the noise - to focus.

For me dreams are an opportunity to experience and play with this awareness. To dance in creation. To translate the wakeful impressions into meaningful symbols. Like objects in a program or crows on a fence. Dreams are the in-between moments where flight and fancy become reality. Time and space, the discreet and the eternal conjoined like the mind of a child. I long for that feeling in my waking moments. To take flight and see the world through the eyes of god. If only for a moment.

As I open awareness to the world of symbols that dreams provide I see that all things are indeed connected. Through consciousness there is only now through which then and when transpire. In living, dancing, and dreaming, I can weave this experience as one. As a sibling of a much greater whole. The crows are calling out to me to dream again, to take wing, and fly.

CHOCOLATE MILK!

Burning Man was awesome this year. Glad we stayed for the Temple Burn™ It was a totally spiritual moment when heaven and earth mingled in a elemental dance of creation and destruction- very symbolic of the energies I feel moving in my life right fucking now! This month has seen more positive growth initiated than i can remember in a long time and a new partner in crime to share in the fun (ya, you know who you are). I have even begun the laborious process of moving into the shop in earnest joy. Has someone been tampering with the water supply mewonders...

heads
-----
heels

and I *like* it...

;)

Now I know they are taking this too far...

This morning I woke up and felt as if the world were anew - could this be love I'm feeling?

Audio Track: Amon Tobin - Out From Out Where
Mood-0-Meter: hopeful

Today I have initiated an official grievence procedure against my employer.

Scary.

I also wanted to give a big FUCK YOU! shout out to Qwest for providing me with such underwhelming 'always-on' DSL service...how about 'always blinking lights'? I think it may be time to make the switch to cable.

Audio Track: voices in the hall
Mood-0-Meter: twisted and pissed

Three years ago we started down this road, today we deliver:

RealPlayer10 for Linux!

What a long strange trip its been...

glad this week is in the past. Monday I wipe my whiteboard clean again then fly to SF. Weee!

PS - Kat, you are the sexiest damn feline on the planet, purrr ;P

A *good* omen for this release :)

14 --> 55

Changing line 2: (--> 30)

A big wagon for loading.
One may undertake something.
No blame.

Great possession consists not only in the quantity of goods at one's disposal, but first and foremost, in their mobility and utility, for then they can be used in undertakings, and we remain free of embarrassment and mistakes. The big wagon, which will carry a heavy load and in which one can journey far means that there are at hand able helpers who give their support and are equal to their task. One can load great responsibility on such persons, and this is necessary in important undertakings.

Changing line 6: (--> 34)

He is blessed by heaven.
Good fortune.
Nothing that does not further.

In the fullness of possession and at the height of power, one remains modest and gives honour to the sage who stands outside the affairs of the world. By this means one puts oneself under the beneficent influence descending from heaven, and all goes well. Confucius says of this line:

"To bless means to help. Heaven helps the man who is devoted; men help the man who is true. He who walks in truth and is devoted in his thinking, and furthermore reveres the worthy, is blessed by heaven. He has good fortune, and there is nothing that would not further."

...and the bible sez:

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. [Psalms 16:6]

Hey, at this point I'll take some divine intervention, verily...

be wary qwiet, the Gold Bits™ are rising in the oven as I type this...once over softly now, then off to S.F. for the big unveiling.

:)

The black birds follow me, cawing and swooping, to the bus stop every morning. Quite a conversation piece that.

So there is this new girl that showed up at my stop last week and we have never spoken until this morning. The crows were frightening her I think. So I looked at her, said that they were my friends and they were mad at me, then told her about their nest. Then it happened, the first words out of her mouth..."My Boyfriend"...yadda, yadda, yadda...(this has happened like the last three times I have started a conversation with a 'female' stranger. I really do not understand what makes some women so insecure that they feel the need to qualify their relationship status and availability, so to speak, within the first 30 seconds of meeting. I was talking about birds for fucks sake! Perhaps some of my female friends can shed some light on this phenomena. (more annoying than any bird let me tell you) Maybe I am overreacting but I am seriously considering going back to celibacy as a lifestyle choice...

Two crows have made a nest in my cherry tree. Now, whenever I go out into the garden to water or meditate, they start swooping down at me and cawing. Within minutes they attract every other crow in the neighborhood, all aggressively circling overhead like a Hitchcock movie. Hope it's not a portent of impending doom...

Really annoying.

:S

Beta ships today and we are announcing the addition of GPL licensing to the HelixPlayer. Time to crank up the P.R. machine.

New York Times

Slashdot

MSN